Ig recently linked to ROLLING STONE's list of The 25 Most Underrated Guitarists, itself a reaction to their own 100 Greatest Guitarists Of All Time. Which got me thinking - being a negative sod, and a first-rank playa-hater, what would be my top ten list of over-rated guitarists in rock? Try this for size. And yes, I got bored after four and kinda gave up. Life's too short to contemplate bad guitarists for too long.
1. Carlos Santana. Here's a guy who regularly drops names like Hendrix, Miles Davis and John Coltrane in order to subliminally plant the notion that he deserves to be counted among their number. But what is he really? A dude with an annoying mustache who just widdles about within the blues scale endlessly, with a tone that resembles a wasp trapped in a coke can. Who makes records with Rob Thomas.
2. Steve Vai. To me, the guy signifies the "guitarist arms race" nature of bad Eighties metal more than anyone else. Just sacked Yngwie Malmsteen for being an unbearable c*nt? Hire Steve Vai to make incomprehensible bleeping noises over your music. Been sacked by Van Halen? Make a solo record with Steve Vai making his incomprehensible bleeping noises over it. Vivian Campbell left your band on the eve of recording your new album? Hire Steve Vai to make incomprehensible bleeping noises over it. Etcetera, etcetera, bleedin' etcetera. Also - three words. Seven. String. Guitars.
3. Joe Satriani. Bald. Too much legato. As a guitar teacher to others on this list, he was the originator of the post-Eddie Van Halen "arms race" guitar style. Can I blame him for sweep picking and guitars with pointy headstocks, too? Eh, might as well.
4. Slash. I bet Slash is a great guy to hang out with, and unlike the first three names on this list, he's appeared on at least one great record. And god bless 'im, he reinstated the Les Paul as the rocker's guitar of choice at a time when the super-strat was becoming ubiquitous. But think about it - he's just not that good, really. Think of his solo in "November Rain". Annoying isn't it? Now think of the intro to "Sweet Child Of Mine". Irritating, right? So - Slash: likeable but ultimately annoying.
Dishonorable mentions - John Sykes, just for the inaccurate bending during the THUNDER AND LIGHTENING tour film the BBC made. Yngwie Malmsteen - total gobshite. Ritchie Blackmore - for being a prick to his co-workers for four decades, if nothing else. Kirk Hammett, just because I always thought Metallica could have been a better, less orthodox, band without his presence. And for his mustache. The Edge, because he's a Methodist. And Andres Segovia, 'cus he didn't rock hard enough.
That's ten isn't it? Thank fuck for that. Feel free to vent in the comments.